Category Archives: Self-Blogging

Moving Forwards

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With recent days being really tough, I’m getting sick of all of the stress. I’m going on almost 20 days of alternating insomnia and exhaustion with lots of stress, so I’m trying to somehow resolve to get rid of it. This weekend my mounting to-do list is, well, continuing to mount. That said, I’m try to nix a couple important things, like lessons for the next couple of days and presentations for this week’s class. I’m going to try to get rid of distractions, be more methodical, whatever gets the job done.

On Friday, the day of my observation, I balked a really crappy activity into my classroom. One of my colleagues was able to help me shape it better, and it turned out passable. I have a lot of work to do between my two preps and class/club at ASU, but I’m trying to blaze a trail here. I’m going to keep a log, of lots of stuff, and we’ll see how the week looks when I’m done.

Today, I resolve to get more done while being less stressed. Let’s see how I fare with resolutions.

On Needing a Stress Ball

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I’m stressed. I’m on approximately day fifteen of being incredibly lost. I thought the last half of Spring Break was a stressful fluke, but oh my goodness. I’ve been an insomniac while simultaneously being completely exhausted. I’ve been seeking shelter from my stresses all of the time. It’s been interesting.

And it’s not one aspect of life that’s stressing me out (like I thought). I’m falling behind or completely out of the game in virtually everything.

The bedroom that was being painted is still incredibly bare. The rooms that need to be cleaned have only been cleaned because of Kim. The groceries… oh, wait. I haven’t gone to the store in forever. My lesson plans continue to not come into fruition until the last minute. I had a terrible walkthrough in my class last week. I came within two seconds of doling out detentions and referrals on Monday. I have an observation on Friday. I apparently need to make and edit a video of myself teaching by Thursday – and we’re tomorrow so I don’t know when that will happen. I procrastinated the AEPA until it was too late and decided to wait until June, and now I’m pretty sure I screwed myself out of a substituting job.

But, when I think about it, things aren’t that much worse. I’ve been on an insanely high stress level for the passed ten months. At what point do I start making up for it all? Between moving to Uganda and planning a wedding, quitting my job and realizing I don’t know what I’ll be doing in two months, I haven’t been able to keep steady. I usually take this kind of thing in stride, but I think the last two weeks are throwing all that stress back at me. I need to find solace somewhere. So I’ll stay optimistic.

Today, I had a short afternoon snack with my wife at the kitchen table. I also chatted with my colleagues at lunch for a few minutes. One of my students and I had a candid conversation that was genuinely uplifting.

Last Thursday I wrote “I wish I could stop and smell the roses” on a piece of paper as a part of an art project. Supposedly that, and two other wishes, came true today.

“I am going to be a college professor.”

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This week has included a lot of thinking on top of the planning and painting.  Thinking is sometimes good, sometimes bad. On Friday I lamented with a few friends over just what future had in store for us. I chatted with my dad about what I’m doing after May.  My wife and I had a long future-based conversation last night.  Today at my dad’s Rotary club meeting a few people asked where I was headed.  I don’t know.

For a long time I wanted to be a high school history teacher and nothing else.  It was college that pushed me in about twelve other directions.  I like teaching.  I like history.  I also like human rights, politics, international relations, government, aid work and travel.  So I need to parse these things out.  The one thing I’m really sure about is that I want to get a doctorate.

I have a big word document that lists all sorts of programs and schools, financial aid and research centers.  I know I want to continue learning, and I know I want to get an advanced degree.  Between the humanities and social science I can’t really decide where to narrow my focus.  Plus, where do I put all of those other interests?  Do I try to mix and blend?  Will that make me into a traveling scholar who does aid work? A government staffer on international relations and human rights?  Maybe I’ll just try to get my own cooking show.

Seeing as how I have my eyes set on some sort of advanced degree, and seeing as how I’m just now wrapping up my undergraduate degree, I have some time.  That said, decisions made now (or soon) will determine what I do for a long, long time.  From conversations with various professors over the last two years, and a heart-hurting article in The Chronicle and some insightful, albeit less than optimistic blog posts, it will be a long, long road.  Do I want to be a college professor? Yes. When? In what? Hell if I know.

Do any of you have an idea of what you’re going to do?  Better yet, if you are a PhD student or a post-doc, any advice that’s not an outright deterrent? I’m graduating in May and it’s a big, challenging world out there.

42 Days

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Forty-two days into this year, and it’s shaping up to be a momentous calendar.  I’m scrambling to include the numerous huge changes in my classes as I also roll out history and civics.  I’m going to take a step back and look out my favorite window – the international stage.

On January 9th, people across southern Sudan voted in a referendum for secession.  A month later the results were in – 99% for independence.  We are in the middle of seeing the world’s newest state emerge after a decades-long civil war and continued oppression and violence.  It’s a sign of hope for the countless other victims in the surrounding area (I’m looking at the DRC and CAR specifically, but sadly most of the region in reality).

On January 15th, after just 29 days of student protests, Tunisian dictator Ben Ali surrendered power and flew to Saudi Arabia.  Amidst the protests, solidarity actions took place across North Africa and the Middle East.  Tunisia is supposed to hold elections in the coming months and has an opportunity to take a huge step forwards from there.

On February 11th, Egypt’s President Hosni Mubarak gave up power after 18 days of youth-led protests.  This came close on the heels of Tunis and after a week of escalation including a brutal police crackdown, attempted military peacekeeping, mass arrests and beatings of journalists and activists, and even more arrests, beatings, and murders of civilians.  Egypt also has the potential to move forwards here and – as what some have called the “fulcrum” of the region – a chance to move other countries forward too.

This doesn’t even touch on rising protests in the rest of North Africa/Middle East, student actions in Puerto Rico as well as England, and huge elections in Uganda.  I will be busy keeping an eye on all of these.  Needless to say, this day is one of those momentous occasions.  Tunisia’s and Egypt’s transition will be a lodestar for the so-called “Arab World,” especially Egypt.  Southern Sudan’s viability will be a signal for transition with stability across an unstable region.  If I knew any better, I’d say 2011 is going to be a 1968.

1.1.11

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If you are reading this, I just got married.  Like, right now.  Kim and I are probably taking pictures or saying thank you or heading to the reception.

Kim and I met each other in the beginning of 7th grade – fall of 2001 for those who have known us long enough.  We’ve been a couple since spring of 2002.  In other words, we’ve been a couple since they discovered water on Mars.  Our relationship is older than the International Criminal Court, even! We’ve lived together for two years (and been engaged for the same amount of time, minus a few hours), and today we just took the big leap together. It’s been surreal – a wonderful journey with my best friend.  And we’re just getting started!

This terse blog post marks a significant event but at the same time a small change in a long history of a relationship.  As of right now, we are what we weren’t a few moments ago – married. Our legal status has changed, and taxes will look a little different from here on out,but we’ve also made a huge commitment to each other.  Plus, I don’t feel left out anymore and can finally wear a ring too!  But, we’re also still two people who are in love and sharing our lives together.  We’ve got over eight years of history as a couple – from junior high to high school to college, from parents’ houses to apartment to townhome, but we’ve got a lot ahead of us.

Here’s to the future.

Guns Blazing

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On Sunday, David treated me to a bachelor party.  Given two facts – David being my only guy-friend and me being pretty androgynous when it comes to doing manly things – we did not round up the dudes and go to a strip club. Plus, that’s weird and icky. Instead, I learned how to use a gun.  Six guns, actually.

David and I rolled out with his dad and two brothers to Florence Junction, where we parked in a secluded area by a moderately sized cliff-face.  David’s dad went over gun-safety with me while his brothers set up some cans, and I put on some glasses and earmuffs.  I’ve never held a real gun, let alone shoot one, so I was pretty green to this whole scenario.  I should preface the following sentences with the fact that I’m probably getting some of these names wrong.  But anyways, I took a couple of pot shots with a 22 and actually hit my target the first two times (big surprise, let me tell you) before playing with a Glock 17 and a Remington (pistol and shotgun – I’m learning!). When we set out to reset the cans and find some better targets, I found two shot up computer monitors and couldn’t resist. By the end of the day I also fired off an AR-15 and a SOCOM, of which the latter had its own shockwave that we could feel several feet away from the shooter, and which gave me a bruised arm.  As we wrapped up, I fired a few rounds out of an old-fashioned revolver, which made me feel very much like I was shooting in the Southwest.

All in all it was a lot of fun and something I had never done before.  I’m not exactly signing up for the NRA, but I definitely wouldn’t be against going out again.  It was pretty interesting to learn about the different guns (David’s dad is an instructor, and all the guys knew at least something about guns given boy scout experience and whatnot) and to play with some big boy toys.  That, mixed with a little bit of video-gaming and some delicious In-n-Out Burger, made for a very nice bachelor party.

WIP Wednesday: Wedding Edition

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Thanks to our wedding, I’m bringing back my one-post-long Work in Progress Wednesday series!  For the past few weeks Kim and I have been working on our centerpieces for the wedding on-and-off.  The goal is small collections of vases on every table, with some sparse stems of flowers in each.  We bought a plethora of clear vases and candle holders at various Goodwills and have been spray painting them white.  We’re excited to see how they come together.  It’s been fun being slightly crafty, and not so fun to see a handful of vases get all crackly and messed up.  All in all it’s been good though.  Tonight we’re putting the finishing touches on a few before our florist swings by to pick them up.   Regardless, we’ve got a garage covered in vases and spray paint, and the florist will be working with them to ensure that it’s all pretty!

A number of vases drying

These are just some of the finished ones

Misfit vases.

Oh Captain, My Captain

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So, the rats have been acting kind of strange for the past month or so.  They’ve been losing weight despite eating fairly regularly and they’ve been breathing kind of heavy.  A few days after returning, I went on a shopping spree and got all sorts of new food to try to bring them back up in weight.  I was trying to figure out what might have been causing the change in their health, but couldn’t think of anything.  We don’t really know their age, so it’s possible that they’re just getting old.  After a week of yogurt drops and cage cleaning, I woke up Sunday to find that Jasper had passed.

Me being an oddly emotional person, I was pretty upset that morning.  I lost my first mammal and my second pet that day.  Vlad is still having similar symptoms, so I’m redoubling my efforts to make sure he’s well-fed and has a clean home.  As of right now, it’s all I can do. I might move the cage around and see if that helps at all.  I’ll give an update on how that goes; I just wanted to post an update for Jasper.

Captain Jasper von Rattenstein III

Coming to America

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So, I’m back!  I’m still getting used to everything here.  With the help of a steadier internet connection, I’ve put pictures up about Murchison Falls, Prom and Kampala for your enjoyment. I’ve also started the cultural detox of trying to use regular English a bit more (still saying a Ugandan rendition of “sorry” and I “ah-ah”-d our dog as if she were Ugandan).  I’ve been home for a good week now, and things are finally settling.

Saturday I launched full speed into life.  I met our dog Cindy, who is completely adorable and kind but can be very timid – sometimes I think she’s scared of me.  I’ve enjoyed walking her, though, and it’ll be nice to get to know her better.  Saturday night Kim and I took her to a dog park in Scottsdale and met up with Kenny.  I also cleaned out the rat cage, and Vlad and Jasper have gotten really skinny, so I’ll be checking on their health and making sure they’re okay.  Sunday I went over to my parents’ house and enjoyed a nice welcome back party.  Almost all of my family showed up and I got to see everyone and have some delicious food.  I ended up doing a (somewhat) impromptu slideshow and talking about random points of interest before we watched a movie.

Mariah, my car, is completely broken.  She worked okay on Saturday but has been out of commission ever since.  I got a new battery and I fiddled with the terminals a bit, but it’s looking like it might be the starter or alternator, which sucks a lot.  Hopefully I’ll get everything patched up before school starts.  Speaking of which, I’ve spent the past couple of days buying books here and there getting ready for a rompin’ course load.  School starts on Thursday, so I’ll be getting into the groove soon enough.  I’ve enjoyed my first and last full week of work – back to the grind of splitting my time between building ScanGauges, boxing them, and answering e-mails.  Things haven’t changed too much while I’ve been gone, so that’s good.  Next week I’ll be dealing more with car problems and school starting so we’ll see how I fair then.

Lira does Kampala, and Europe does Prom

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Saturday morning the ILF house slowly stirred.  After going to bed at 5.30 in the morning as the night finally wound down, I heard Rehmbo and Ben leaving around 8.  I got up and helped them close the gate and then did some lounging until my phone rang. Alison’s missing phone was calling me.  Normally, when a phone gets stolen here the thief gets rid of the SIM card right away and replaces it or sells the phone.  So, when I answered the phone I was a bit confrontational, and the guy who took the phone was talking about maybe bringing the phone back and then he hung up on me.  At this point Alison heard me talking and came in and we discussed how weird this whole situation was.  He called back and Alison talked to him and he said he was willing to bring the phone back but was worried he would get in trouble with the law, so she tried to assure him that she just wanted the phone and that’s it.  When Ben came back all three of us were talking to the guy and arranged a meeting down the street – but he never showed.  Out of time and patience, we got ready for the Kampala trip sans cellular.

Back at the house I finalized my packing and withdrew some more money for the city.  I said goodbye to everyone and even bid the goat and chickens farewell.  The ILF car rolled up and I plopped my things in and we were soon on our way.  A good five hours later we meandered through traffic to Old Park and dropped Alison and me at a fancy glass tower amidst the crummy chaos – our hotel!  This place was a really nice hotel in the middle of the city center, and we were greeted by a giant bed, a TV, air conditioning, a nice shower, and even a balcony!  After checking in and relaxing a bit, we went out and I got my first taste of mizungu Kampala – Lotus Mexicana!  I had a delicious meal of Mexican food in this African capitol before heading to a rooftop bar in Bukoto for – yes – an “American Prom”-themed party.

In the circle of the UN, a guy named Stijn has (sort of) never had a birthday party.  Since all of these Europeans had never had a Prom either, they decided to have a prom in honor of Stijn’s birthday.  A few weeks ago Lisa approached Alison and me to be the prom consultants since we were the only ones who had ever attended one.  In Lira I found the best possible shirt – a shirt from an American high school’s After-Prom Luau! I mixed this with purple trousers I found in the market and a coat I found in town.  But this fashion had nothing on some of the guests at this place.  Lisa was in the most amazing dress ever bought in Lira.  Ilaria was in a white tuxedo.  The birthday boy was in a dazzling silver shirt that shined amidst the lasers and lights at the party.  The party was really fun and it was a great welcome to Kampala.

The next morning, Alison and I boda’d our way over to Cafe Javas to have a grand goodbye.  Our commute was sprinkling, but right after we arrived it started pouring and we ended up meeting with a drenched Debs, Lisa, and Ilaria for lunch.  After trying to make sure everyone was dry and warm, we had a good meal and talked a lot before bidding farewell to our Lira folk.  That afternoon Lisa, Debs and Ama all headed back upcountry, so it was good to see everyone off.  From there I met up with Morris and George in Wandegeya to catch up for an hour or two before going craft shopping.  I ended the day with a solo trip to Ndere Center which was really cool, but it deserves its own post so you’ll just have to wait.

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