On Needing a Stress Ball

I’m stressed. I’m on approximately day fifteen of being incredibly lost. I thought the last half of Spring Break was a stressful fluke, but oh my goodness. I’ve been an insomniac while simultaneously being completely exhausted. I’ve been seeking shelter from my stresses all of the time. It’s been interesting.

And it’s not one aspect of life that’s stressing me out (like I thought). I’m falling behind or completely out of the game in virtually everything.

The bedroom that was being painted is still incredibly bare. The rooms that need to be cleaned have only been cleaned because of Kim. The groceries… oh, wait. I haven’t gone to the store in forever. My lesson plans continue to not come into fruition until the last minute. I had a terrible walkthrough in my class last week. I came within two seconds of doling out detentions and referrals on Monday. I have an observation on Friday. I apparently need to make and edit a video of myself teaching by Thursday – and we’re tomorrow so I don’t know when that will happen. I procrastinated the AEPA until it was too late and decided to wait until June, and now I’m pretty sure I screwed myself out of a substituting job.

But, when I think about it, things aren’t that much worse. I’ve been on an insanely high stress level for the passed ten months. At what point do I start making up for it all? Between moving to Uganda and planning a wedding, quitting my job and realizing I don’t know what I’ll be doing in two months, I haven’t been able to keep steady. I usually take this kind of thing in stride, but I think the last two weeks are throwing all that stress back at me. I need to find solace somewhere. So I’ll stay optimistic.

Today, I had a short afternoon snack with my wife at the kitchen table. I also chatted with my colleagues at lunch for a few minutes. One of my students and I had a candid conversation that was genuinely uplifting.

Last Thursday I wrote “I wish I could stop and smell the roses” on a piece of paper as a part of an art project. Supposedly that, and two other wishes, came true today.


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